Void of La'enora
by Snot of the Dragon
Summary: Almost a year after Nero, Jim starts to have dreams of a desert planet and a woman who calls out to him. When they find the planet his life is suddenly in danger and it’s up to Spock and McCoy to find him before it’s too late. S/K eventually.


Story: Void of La'enora

Prompt from: applepie1989.com/art/StarTrekXI-Untitled-Snippet-137447143

_Captain Kirk and the enterprise are in the midst of the 5 years exploratory mission when he begins to have dreams of a strange isolated barren planet and a woman who resides in the midst of loneliness. His frequent blankness and daze appearances on the bridge and outside shifts are not gone unnoticed by Spock and McCoy and the crew. But when the enterprise found the planet, Captain Kirk's dreams becomes a reality and his life becomes endangered. Its up to the crew, McCoy and Spock to rescue him, before its all too late._

A story about loneliness and belonging. hopefully K/S. rather open to ideas.

A/N: So I decided to try it out. So here is the first part.

~*~*~*~

Prologue:

Jim had always been fascinated by space. Not because of the thrill of adventure it held or because of his parents. But merely for the fact that it was just a vast dark void of nothingness. It was like a black canvas that numbed you and made you feel small and incomplete. He has known that feeling all his life. Not just from looking at the sky or when he was on a shuttle, but because of the dark void he felt inside himself. The one that got bigger each time his mother looked at him as if she saw a ghost, until she could no longer bare the sight of him and what he represented to her and left him. The void grow when his brother's hatred of him for making their mother leave them with that _man_ grow so great, he too could no longer look at him and left him.

With Frank.

And with every curl word and punch that man through at him, the void grew bigger and he felt numbness and pain at the same time. As he got older he found distractions from the pain. His studies at first, but they only helped so long. His brain could only be distracted by words, tactic, and equations for so long. So he found other ways. Alcohol was a good way, but adrenalin was even better. Feeling the chemical rush to his head during a fight, during some death defining stunt, or during sex clouded his feelings and thoughts and the painful numbness of the void.

For a short time at least.

But it was better than nothing.

It wasn't until he met Bones did he finally figure out what the void really was. Being around him, listening to him gripe and moan, griping and moaning back and having someone listen, sharing meals and drinks, good times and bad times, looking at girls together, studying and working together… just being with someone who genially wanted to be in his presence without being forced or seduced there. It made the void smaller and less painful, more manageable. It was still there but now it was easier to ignore it.

But not now.

Here he stood on his ship's observation deck almost a year after Nero's defeat staring out at the dark void of space. He was still getting use to saying that, the _Enterprise_ was his ship. He had been in command of her and over 400 people for nine whole months, better than his _father_ ever had. He was the youngest captain in history. He saved earth and the Federation. He had people looking up to him with _respect_. He had people praising him where they had only cursed him before. He had a crew that he could _trust_ and who _trusted_ him back. He was on a minimum of an acquaintance level with his command crew if not friend level by now. Heck, he had Spock respecting him and making _conversation_ with him occasionally. _Spock_ for crying out loud.

He had _proven_ himself.

So why does he feel the void now after all of that. And why does it hurt like it did before he met Bones? He had his duties to distract him and the occasional adrenalin rush from a mission. And he still had Bones. That _should_ have been enough, it _had_ to be enough. Because of his duties he couldn't drink excessively any more, nor could he sleep with any of the crew or even any of the people they met of missions. So it had to be enough…

But it wasn't. It wasn't working.

And as Captain James T. Kirk stared out of the observation deck at the familiar black canvas on the other side of the glass a lone tear fell for even if he has known what the void inside him was, he never acknowledged it until now.

He was lonely.

~*~*~*~

_It was that same night is when they started, the dreams. A desert world of yellowish brown sand dunes, he could feel the dry, hot air scorching his lungs, the hot, sandy wind against his face, and the burn of the sun on his skin. In the distance he could see it. A large structure or a mountain stood against a red-orange sky, ominous and alluring. _

_And then he heard her voice._

"James,"_ she spoke in a voice that nearly broke his heart. _"Help me please. Come and save me. I'm so lonely."

_That's when he made up his mind. He would help her, he _needed_ to. He needed to save her because she asked him to, because she needed him too. Because…_

_Because she was lonely too_.

Waking up in a cold sweat and gasping for breath, he sat up and looked around the room to see if he was indeed back in his room, back on his ship and not of the desert world in dream. His dream felt so real and so intents he could have sworn up and down that he had been really there. That he could feel the heat, the sand, the wind and that he heard…

"It was just a dream." He told himself as he wiped a hand across his face as he finally caught his breath. He lay back down and stared at the ceiling. "It was just a dream." He told himself again and if anyone else was there they would say he sounded disappointed.

Because in that dream he did not feel the void inside himself.

~*~*~*~

TBC.


End file.
